Have you ever thought about something, or wanted something, for so long, that when it finally happened, you were like, “eh…”.

That’s actually how I felt the first week or two of being at the eating disorder clinic. For years I have had this dream of working with eating disorder clients, but never was able to get any experience since it’s such a specialized area. And then when I found out that within my internship, I would finally have the opportunity to get the experience, I started building it up the whole year! It was kind of like I was just going through the motions with my other rotation sites so I could just get to this one.

The first two weeks, in my head I was like “oh my gosh.. what if this isn’t what I actually want to do, what would my dream be then?”.

But, then I had my week off. I was able to de-stress and re-center myself. I didn’t think a whole lot about internships, jobs, or even nutrition (except for eating delicious foods, of course), so when I came back to the eating disorder clinic that Monday, I would be coming back with a clear head.

And then, it became everything I’d imagined it to be. I started to see it for what it was, not what I had built it up to be. I was in such a fog of stress that even my “lifelong” (not really, but kind of) dream was almost passing me by. But fear not, I conquered the fog.

Since I’m the intern, I don’t do a whole lot of one-on-one counseling with the established patients, not yet at least. I calculate the calories each patient eats everyday, attend interdisciplinary staff rounds with therapists, nurses and the like, help the dietitians run their group sessions, and do the new admission assessments.

What I like about it is that every day is something new. It’s not like hum-drum clinical dietetics, and it’s not like frantic-crazy-employee-disciplining management dietetics, it’s client-focused. And you certainly don’t want your clients getting bored, so in turn, you’re never bored.

The best, and worst part, is that each patient or client is a challenge. No two eating disorders are the same. Sure two people may both be diagnosed with bulimia nervosa, but their story? How they got there? Not the same. Their fear foods? Triggers? Not the same. How you speak with them? Not the same.

I say it’s the best part because it is important to me to be challenged. One of my fears about my future career is that I’ll get bored, and not be challenged anymore.. but with clients like these, I just don’t ever see that happening. But for it to be the worst part, for now at least, I mean that it’s going to take a lot of experience in learning how to effectively deal with each patient separately. I’m always concerned that I’ll say the wrong thing, and I’m sure I’ve said the wrong thing a few times already, but it will come with time.

Aside from my thoughts about my rotation with eating disorders, I wanted to put this out there: If you are struggling with eating disorder behaviors or thoughts.. please reach out for help! I often find that people think they’re “not sick enough” to ask for help, and that is just not true. Everyone deserves a good life, and if you are plagued by thoughts that prevent that, then please reach out to a therapist or a dietitian that specializes in eating disorders. They can, and will help you, no matter how big or small the problem may be. A good place to start is the National Eating Disorder Association.

<3